actual blogging i guess
depression has never been an issue of sadness or longing for me. i guess it leads there or like maybe there's some environmental narrative i can cling to but really its not that.
its like today i had a reign in the cupholder and my gymbag in the passenger seat and and my cigarettes had fallen out of my pocket behind the chair and i just couldn't figure out how to get out of the car. i spent several minutes trying to think of how to get out of the car because the bags kind of awkward and i didn't want to spill my drink or forget my cigs.
i spilt my drink anyway. its doing that in every situation for an imperceptible duration that links depression to suicide imo. just constantly being a shitter.
like i think i've been in this mood since around july but i pretty much rate all my days as bad. my friend told me to lower my expectations.
i finally started on Vagabond. its great.
underrated hero
roxy autopsy - left for dead w/ artixan (artixan)
scene never dies
bunch of really cool stuff this week but caro is my favorite ever
https://soundcloud.com/uglymaladaptedloser/sets/will-be-glad-when-the-solstice